you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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