awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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