So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she told me i tasted like america
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Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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