worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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