she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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