Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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