So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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