Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
