If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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