i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
