I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
