This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
