FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just high enough for therapy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.