Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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