Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize