she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
