i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
COCAINE IS GR8
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
