I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
