did you get engaged???
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
