The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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