i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
