you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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