I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
