don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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