There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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