i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
