Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
