apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
