connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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