i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
