Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
