so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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