i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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