Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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