I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
