my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
They have beer where we have blood.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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