he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
