Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
