some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
