Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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