The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
