Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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