Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize