Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
