Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
