You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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