A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize