twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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