I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is wine microwaveable?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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