There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
