**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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