there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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