Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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