well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
