I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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