Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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