We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
home. puking in laundry basket.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
