he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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